Eat, Sleep, Run
Growing up in a family full of elite runners, I have loved running from a very young age. Running is in my blood and I would not have it any other way. However, it hasn't been easy over the years. My dad was an avid runner and passed his passion down to me. He passed away when I was 9 years old and ever since then all I want to do is make him proud.
I joined the cross country team as a 6th grader in middle school and fell even more in love with the sport. Running consumed me and I quickly became one of the fastest girls on the team. I also ran through AAU outside of school and competed in national races. All I wanted was for my dad to be able to watch my races, give me tips, and hear his voice cheering me on as I was crossing the finish line.
As I got older, I was not the fastest girl anymore...I was never the tall girl with long legs which is the stereotypical runner girl. I thought the only way I could run faster was to be skinnier, so I began to restrict calories, run multiple times a day, and work out after every time I "ate." I thought if I wanted to make my dad proud, I had to run faster and this was the only way to do so. At first, my times dropped considerably, people said I was going so well, and I was happy. But as time went on, I was consumed in calorie counting, restricting food, and running, and I became very weak and unhealthy. I dropped down to 60 some odd pounds. I was seeing a psychologist and my coaches knew about my eating disorder at this point. It came down to the point where I was a day away from hospitalization and losing running if I didn't help myself. Eventually, with some work, I came out of the trance I was in, recovered, and was able to run again.
Flash forward a handful of years. Sometimes, I still struggle with eating...while I have made a full 360 recovery, the eating disorder never completely goes away, but with help and talking to friends, family, and coaches and by having an amazing support system, I am able to cope with my struggles and have become an advocate for those who are going through the same struggles I went through.
Running has brought me peace. Running is something I look forward to every day as my free therapy for the daily hardships. Running has taught me that it is okay to not be the fastest or strongest, but to be the best that I can be on that particular day. Running has taught me to be my crazy, beautiful, unique self. Running has allowed me to meet people so much like me. Running has shown me that you are not alone; so many others face the exact same struggles you do, whether you know it. Running isn't always easy, but running is always worth it.
- Sarah Mahnesmith (@sarahmahnesmith)
