Running and Anorexia

I began running in 6th grade because it was the only sport available to me. That first year we only ran a mile and a half in meets and I struggled. I wasn't last on our team but I certainly wasn't first. I improved a lot that season but it wasn't where I wanted to be. I am a perfectionist and if I do something I have to be the best at it. The following summer I began to train very hard for my upcoming 7th grade season. I was reading lots of articles about how to become a better runner and one of the main points in all of the articles was diet. It made sense, if you weigh less you'll run faster. That was my new goal. Lose 20 pounds in the next month to be ready for cross country. I began allowing myself to only eat 200 calories a day. I also increased my mileage to 8 miles a day. Everything was working! I was getting faster and I loved how I looked more and more everyday. In my five foot six athletic build I was only weighing 94 pounds and continued to lose. My family was continually asking me to eat more but I refused. Eventually they hospitalized me and it was the worst time of my life. I was released a week later, faking my way through treatment. As soon as I got him I began the same habits. Running more and eating less. I got away with this for longer- about a year until I reached the end of eighth grade and I was in the middle of track season. Everyone knew I was underweight but I thought I was fine until I collapsed running a meet. I was immediately taken to the hospital and stayed there for 2 months in recovery for anorexia nervosa. I made good jumps in recovery and when I was released I was only able to run 3 miles. My freshman season of cross country was coming up and I made a deal with my doctors that if I stayed at a healthy weight I could compete. They agreed. Although I was still struggling, running was my therapy and it turns out I was better than I thought I would be. For the next 3 years- I am now a junior- I've made it to state and have been the #1 varsity runner at our school. Runners and eating disorders go hand in hand and I've experienced that myself. For anyone who is or was in my position I want you to know recovery is possible and even though you may get faster as you get lighter, it will only last for so long. Being healthy and 60+ pounds heavier, I am running faster than ever. At this moment I realize that everything does happen for a reason. If this wouldn't have happened to me, who knows if I'd be running. Here's to all of us runners- we can do amazing things.

- @amanda_grace12 ( Amanda Triebensee )