Don't let it define you.
This season was the first season, I felt like walking away. I wanted to forget the sport and everything I have ever accomplished in it. I, ironically, wanted to run away from it all because no matter what anyone said it was more than just one bad race. Each bad race, each bad practice just weighed on me, I felt like trapped in my own losing streak. I have ran Cross Country since seventh grade, I know it takes guts and sometimes losing some guts at the end and I know its mental most of the time because I fought like crazy just to get on that starting line, let alone cross the finish. It started out as one bad race, than another, than another, than another. Sooner or later people started noticing, asking what is going on or why I am not running like myself and my answer? Well, I didn't have one because what was tearing me apart the most was not understanding. Cross Country is more than just a sport, so when people say its not, I just want to tell them about all the times, I have broken down at the end of a race, at night or during school because I had just another bad race once more. But everyone has their bad races right? Yeah but who prepares you for when it becomes a bad season. You feel left behind, you feel like you want to shut yourself out, isolate yourself from your team, friends, and/or coaches. Let me tell you, I have never been so emotionally drained by a season before. Losing can only hurt you so much before you hit rock bottom and you can only go up from there. It's not a choice to not have a bad race or there would be a lot fewer of them. It is a commitment, not only physically but mentally. You can not do something if you don't think you can do it and you really can not do something if you aren't physically ready for it either. My advice? Don't let that one bad race define you. I walked around like I had a bad race written all over me. I let it consume me. As a runner, it gets annoying hearing people say "its just one bad race", don't let yourself shake it off. Use that to motivate you. Tell yourself, you don't want to feel the way you felt last time and go for it. Tell yourself you can do it because you can. I let "bad" races define what I thought my future was going to be, I let each failure twist my integrity to the sport. If only someone could have told me sooner, that bad races are only bad if you let them be. One of my good friends told me, "Don't come up with reasons why to do it, just do it because you can and you want too."
- @hailey_bullis ( Hailey Bullis )
