My First and Last Love of High School

 I am a senior and have run cross country and track since freshman year. I originally decided to run cross country in the summer before ninth grade for the sole purpose of soccer conditioning. I played most of the full ninety-minute games as a defender on my U14 club travel soccer team. I was fast but didn't have the stamina I needed. So my parents wanted me to condition with the high school cross country team that summer before starting high school. Some of my rising freshman friends, who did middle school track with me, were already planning on joining the cross country team. However, I still didn't want to go because I strongly disliked distance running. In middle school, I ran the 400m dash and the 4x400 relay and nothing further than that. I was the slowest of my friends at any distance longer than the 800m. It took my friends and my mom a lot of reasoning to make me reconsider being open to the idea. After my mom continuously persuading me to join the team for a couple of weeks, I decided to give it a shot.

The first day of cross country training in July carved a path for my high school career. I think it was the pinnacle of my journey with the sport of running. I remember arriving in the parking lot of the local state park (it is now one of my favorite places to go), and I was anxious because I had no idea what was in store. I met all the returners and the cross country coaches who were very welcoming and happy to see new faces. My friends and I were nervous but also excited.

We started with a mile warm-up on a bike path which wasn't that bad and ended up at the trail center. Then, we stretched there, and I began to feel more anxious. The coaches finally told us that we were going to run a total of four miles (two miles up and two miles back) on the main trail of the park. "FOUR MILES!" I thought. I had never run more than a 5k in my life, so I was pretty scared.

One of my friends and I ran together in the back since the returners knew what they were doing, and we followed their lead. The first mile felt okay, so we decided to pick up the pace a bit and ended up passing a few of the returners. After running two miles, I was a little tired, but I was still okay. Over the last two miles, we ended up passing everyone except our coach who was leading the pack. I was surprised!

The coach was just surprised as us. She ran next to us and kept asking us questions about our past running. She told us she was excited to see that she had some freshmen with potential. After we returned to the parking lot, all of the team did a core workout together. We got to know each other more and ended with stretches before leaving.

I was really shocked that the first day went that way. From then on, I was excited to go to summer training and slowly improved my endurance. The summer training became one of my favorite activities to do that summer. We ran at the state park Monday through Friday, except for Wednesdays when we went to Mount Trashmore, a city park with a man-made large hill. We had watermelon those Wednesdays and popsicles on the other days. The team became close and bonded over the sport of running. I began to fall in love with running.
Fall crept closer and so did school along with cooler weather. We had raced a two-mile with other 757 schools in weeks prior as a timed trial. But our first real meet was in late August, and my coach selected eight of us to run in the varsity A race. It was nerve-racking because we were fighting for the top seven spots on the whole team who would be able to travel to huge meets and the postseason races.

There were five freshmen out of the eight of us, so it kept the upperclassmen on their toes. All of us freshmen placed in the top 25 out of 75 in our race and beat all but one of the upperclassmen. The whole regular season we were on fire. There were some challenging times at the end of the season when our bodies started to break down from the months of running. I fought sickness for a month right before districts and raced horribly that meet. But, we were able to qualify in the top three teams to advance to regionals. It was the first the girls’ team had advanced as a team to the region meet in six years.

My team and I didn’t make it to states that year, but one of our team captains did. We were happy for her, but also ready for the upcoming indoor track season. Most of us continued on to indoor and had a good season overall. But, outdoor we really found ourselves again. I overcame a twisted ankle and advanced to regionals in the 4x8 relay along with other individuals on our team. The academic year eventually came to a close, and at that time, I stopped playing soccer to focus on running. Who knew I’d end up a distance runner and love it?

Soon, it was time for sophomore year summer cross country training. I was excited! Unfortunately, we lost some of our top runners to moving and changing interests, so we only had a few of us left. Our freshman year coach had retired, but the boys’ head coach took over our team. He had helped the boys’ team advance to states for the past three years, so we were happy to have him coach us.

Luckily, we picked up two new freshmen who were our number one and two that season. The whole season the seven of us were crushing it. The team and I were really focused to advance to states. We made it a goal for pretty much of the whole five months of our season to make it to states. In the postseason meets, we all stepped it up to advance to states for the first time in TEN years. Our coach was very proud of us, and we knew the hard work had really paid off. That season I ran some of my best times in my high school career. Additionally, I had started loving everything about the sport of running. I loved my team. I loved the past dinners. I loved the long runs. I loved it all.

Coming into the indoor season, I was ready to take on my own events and hopefully make it further individually. For the first few weeks, I was healthy and doing fine. But, I made a mistake and didn’t take much of a break off in-between seasons because I extended my cross country season further to race in the Footlocker South region race. About a month in, I began to feel sharp tensions in my left leg. I initially ignored the pain until it got so bad, I was limping. I told my coach and decided to take off a week. I went to the school’s trainer, and she gave me stretches to help reduce the problem. I iced and rolled my leg, but it didn’t improve and kept hurting me. It eventually turned into not only a running injury but a walking problem. It hurt to walk up the stairs and around in general. Even the movement of just getting up and sitting down hurt. I got to a point that I decided to end my indoor season to heal it. It was January, two months since the indoor season started. I missed the first meet due to being sick, so I didn’t race a single meet that winter. It was a rough few months out. I became angry, sad, disappointed, and overall I was miserable with my situation. I fell in a deep hole of darkness, and I was stuck there for a while. It took me a while to adapt to the injury, but I decided to start cross-training routinely and making a point to go swimming often. I started liking the gym and lifted which was something I was foreign to before that winter. However, stretching and icing were the most important things during that time. I slowly started recovering mentally and physically.

I started to find joy in the little things again and began trusting the process. In addition, I made a few really good friends who were with me every step of the way. By April, I was back running with the track team. It certainly wasn’t easy getting back in shape, but it was worth it. The season definitely wasn’t recording-breaking, but I was so proud of how far I’d come. I had never fought a battle like that one, and I finally felt resilient.

The summer before my junior year was a turning point. I think it was my love for the sport that carried me through the summer. I was scared of falling upon injury and failure again that running wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. I wasn’t as excited to go out running and I had to force myself to go out and run in the day before training started up again. It was really difficult to wake up for morning practices. Fortunately, my best friend/running buddy was there to motivate me to stick with it. We ended up going to a cross country summer camp and had the best experience there.

In the fall of junior year, I tried my hardest to top my successful sophomore cross country season, but I ended up falling short of running a personal best multiple times. I was really disappointed but was also proud of being able to be healthy and running again. But being me, I still wanted more, and I decided to start back swimming and gym sessions routinely to help me improve. I made a huge commitment to the sport that season. I wanted to improve. I wanted to feel on top again. I wanted to love the sport again.

The indoor season went by in a flash with some disappointments, but I felt back to my normal self and was starting to get back into a groove. Then, the outdoor track season came, and I made a goal to really focus on my performance. I ended up running three personal records, but I felt like I still was off. I kept trying, but a mid-season ankle roll took away two weeks of my training. Immediately, I was upset with myself, but then I reminded myself that I could overcome it. After a few weeks of strenuous recovery, I was able to get back into shape and make it to states with my relay team. I was far from qualifying individually for anything, but at least I had gotten something out of my comeback.

The summer after my junior year, I re-evaluated everything. I looked back on my three years and how far I’d come. I had endured so much and bounced back. I knew I was strong and could handle obstacles, but I was tired of it blocking success.

My whole senior year I took things more cautiously and enjoyed it more. I had gone through a lot in my life in the past year. I had lost a couple of my friends due to moving and drama, and my life had shifted a lot in general. I was changing, and so was my view of running. I just wanted to be happy and healthy while running again. I wanted to feel “runners high” again. I wanted to have fun again.

The summer training went well overall, but the rest of my senior year wasn’t at all what I had envisioned. My final cross country season was my last running season ever in high school ( I didn’t know it at the time). I plateaued all season and wasn’t a top runner on the team. My team was the best it’s ever been, but I knew that wasn’t an excuse to perform the way I did. In addition, I was very stressed with school and my future and had many ups and downs.

My last high school race was the state cross country race. I felt sick to my stomach and had a hard time grasping the fact that my cross country season was ending. My season ended with a tough last race with an emotional ending. I remember calling my swim buddy, who runs for a different team, and her comforting me on the hill overlooking the course. It was the hardest goodbye to the sport that made me love running. Cross country will always be my favorite.

My indoor season was when I reflected on my running career. I began to wonder about how I began my running journey. It had started because of soccer. But it turned into something else. I had loved it so much at one time; it was my life. It still is now it was a love-hate relationship. It tore me apart but I still loved it.

Unfortunately, I had gone through so much mentally and physically that I needed a break. Soon enough, I had a terrible ankle sprain in the midst of the season. I tried to overcome it, but I didn’t want to go through the same pattern again. So, I willingly decided to cut my season short. I took a break for a few weeks to just cross-train and heal my ankle fully before I started back running. It was relaxing for a bit, but soon I began to miss it.

I started back running, but this time I started back alone. I did what I could at the time. My comeback was slow but it made me less stressed. I enjoyed the peaceful long runs and music during my own interval workouts. It wasn’t the same, but I was happy again.

The outdoor season began in March, and I was very excited. It was going to be a good season again. My mindset towards running was positive. I was ready. I had gone through so much that I knew I could make the most of my last high school season ever.
But only two weeks into the season, schools postponed the spring sports seasons due to the Coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19). It was Friday the 13th, the last day of high school ever for me ever, but it was unknown at the time. The moment I walked out of my high school’s doors that day, I fell apart. My season was probably going to be over before it even started. My life had been altered over these past months socially, mentally and physically. And I was finally getting back on track. I was so mad. I still am. Over a week later, I find out the rest of my SENIOR YEAR is canceled. It still hasn’t sunk in. I feel numb.

It hurts that I won’t be competing in high school running ever again. I didn’t even get a track season this year. However, I signed to run D1 cross country next fall a few months ago, and I’m looking forward to it. I have hope for the future. I guess that’s what kept me going this whole time.

Running has taught me so many things that have carried over into my life. The sport shaped me into a stronger, more resilient girl than I was four years ago. I have learned hard work, dedication, commitment, resiliency, and how to never give up. I look back on the last four years and smile because it brought me together with some of the best people and gave me many special memories that I will always cherish. From weird chants at practice to long run talks and three-hour bus rides and hotel shenanigans, I will miss my high school team. They made my high school years very extraordinary.

I will always have a special place for my high school cross country and track experience in my heart. It gave me so much love and happiness. It was taken from me many times but always found it’s way back to me. I love you, running.

- Bailey Deaver