How I fell in love with running

November 30th, 2016, I went into the hospital for a 9 hour spinal fusion surgery to fix my scoliosis (curvature of the spine, mine was a 59 degree curvature). To give you some background, my sophomore year I mulled over choosing XC or soccer, and eventually I decided to stick with what I knew best. I had had a rather unsuccessful season, and now I was about to go down a path that I couldn't see out of. The day before my surgery, at indoor track practice, I ran for the last time. To be honest, it pretty much felt like any other run. Nothing special. However, during my week long stay at the hospital, I gradually became more and more obsessive over it, wishing I had cherished that moment instead of throwing it away, because now I couldn't run for another 3 months. 

Let me tell you, spinal surgery is not fun. I was in pain 24/7, despite being on severely strong pain medication. Every position I tried to lie in was uncomfortable, so I took to walking around the halls until I had completely exhausted my body and I had to go lie down and "sleep" (I probably slept a total of 14 hours during my 5 day stay at the hospital). To make matters worst, Mother Nature had so kindly blessed me with my period the morning after my surgery, and, to put a cherry on top, I was severely constipated. 

TV didn't do much for me, but I left it on all the time in case I wanted to watch it. Neither did coffee ice cream, which I pushed away almost immediately because I wasn't hungry. When the pain got really bad, there was something that seemed to calm me down more than anything. I would close my eyes, and picture every track race I had ever run, especially the good ones. I would imagine myself running, each foot pounding confidently into the ground, and then by imagining it, I would get that feeling in my heart, like a little buzz, the feeling I got during a good run where it felt like I could run forever. 

While I was out of school and out of commission, I realized something important. I hadn't thought of soccer once while I was in the hospital. It was like I needed this experience to understand I loved running more than anything else in the world. 

When I came back to school (at just 6 weeks!), all I could think about was attending practice. I ran until I got too tired, then I would go home and sleep for the rest of the evening. I was slow, in pain, and out of shape, but that week was the most joyful and emotional week I had ever had. 
My coach knew that I had to race my first race soon, to get it over with. 7 weeks out I ran in my first and only indoor race, the 1000m. I was DEAD last, with a time that was uncomfortably close to my 1500m time. I was embarrassed at first, but then I realized something. If you aren't running for the joy of it, why are you doing it at all? Some would say a competitive spirit is the most important element of a runner, others would say drive. I say love. Channel your love towards the sport, and the sport will love you back. This year in outdoor, I shaved off 16 seconds from my 1500 time, and I couldn't help but think that all the love and hard work I put into running had paid off after all. This year, let's just say I'm doing cross country. 

You can take a break, you can get injured, you can do A multitude of things, but never stop loving the sport.

- @delia__cat ( Delia McDade Clay )