There Is No Place Like (A Runner's) Home.

In high school, I was part of an amazing XC/track team program. For 12 seasons, I had the best coaches, teammates and opportunities any high school athlete could wish for. Over the span of 4 years, I grew tremendously as an athlete thanks to the people who surrounded and supported me. I loved high school solely because of my sport and the relationships I had formed within it. 

And then I graduated. And I chose a college far away from home. I left all the great things I already had for the chance to explore and go somewhere new. I wanted to be somewhere different, meet different people, do different things. This desire isn't necessarily wrong, but I will admit, I had preconceptions of what I thought living away from home would entail: Freedom, independence, happiness. Running was obviously a large factor in my decision and I felt confident once I finally chose my school because I knew for sure that (in terms of athletic performance) I would belong. Maybe even stand out. 

Everyone's college experience is different.
And this is mine. (In regards to running of course)

At my first college: I needed to work hard at motivating myself. Running was a high priority on my list, but I soon saw that not everyone else on the team felt the same. Practices were not as structured as I would have liked, and not everyone really held their teammates (or themselves for that matter) accountable. I found myself struggling to make the right choices every day. I didn't trust in my training. I felt confused, I knew what I wanted and that I was willing to work for it, but I was frustrated with this process. There was a point when I was the top girl on the team and I always thought that would make me happy: to be leading a team. I quickly learned how it's not so great or impressive when no one really cares. By the end of the season, I felt worn out and drained (both mentally and physically) although I hadn't even performed all that well. I thought back to the summer when I was training at home with old teammates and how I was filled with ecstatic excitement. I was so much happier, confident and motivated back then…how could so much have changed within me in such a short amount of time? 

Fast forward to 2018 where I made the best decision of my life: I transferred to a college back at home. 

At my current college: My teammates motive me. They are impressive, strong and dedicated athletes who inspire me every day. I want to be like them. They have aspiring goals and high priorities when it comes to running and they understand what must be done to get there. They are a small, close-knit group of girls who all support one another. Practices are highly structured and training for each person is specialized. I trust in my training. I enjoy my training. I'm focused every day on making the right choices to further my training. I feel myself being challenged and I know I will be pushed to new limits. I wake up every morning excited to go to practice. I think about my goals and the opportunities the future holds. It seems limitless. 

I would say there's a pretty noticeable difference between the two schools. Would it also make a difference if I told you the first school was D3 and the school I'm at now is D1? Maybe. I'm sure to some extent it plays a part, but I've seen many athletes, both from D1-D3, fail to improve when they go to college simply because they cannot adjust. They become lost, distracted, unfocused. They make the wrong choices instead of the right ones. They lose sight of the reasons why they chose to continue running competitively in the first place. 

While many might think (as I did) that you gain more freedom living away from home, I didn't really find that to be the case. Living at home, I actually found I had better control over my life and the choices I made. Just to name a few, I had better control over what I was eating as I didn't have to struggle to eat healthy within a dining hall meal plan. Living at home, I wasn't faced with as many distractions and so I was able to manage my time more efficiently. Living at home, I could control when I wanted to turn off the lights and go to sleep. It may seem like these things are so simple, but it's true that they aren't so easy when you're away from home. And they all make a difference for an athlete who wants to succeed. 

Suffice it to say, I have no regrets. I don't regret leaving home and facing the challenges that I did at my first school because it taught me more about myself as an athlete and most importantly, it made me realize how much the environment and the people who you surround yourself with have an impact on your life and mentality. I have a new appreciation for my home now and all the people there who are a part of it. My family, coaches, friends, co-workers, old and new teammates -all of them- make my life and the process of my running journey meaningful. 

For all the high school athletes in the process of looking at colleges, if you're aspiring to leave home, that's okay. My only advice would be to seriously consider your options and not give into any social pretense (as I did) that you need to go far away from home to be happy. Make certain that you are going somewhere that has a just as good (if not better) environment than the one you are leaving behind. Pay great attention to the people who are currently on the teams of the schools you are looking at and see if you can figure out their team dynamics as well. Don't make the mistake of just judging colleges on if you will belong performance wise. First, judge if you will feel like you can (and want to) belong within their team's culture. Understand that surrounding yourself with people who will push, inspire and motivate you is essential to any goals of success. Understand what you want to accomplish and find those who want to accomplish the same because life is ultimately best lived when you better yourself in the process alongside others.

- Jill Manfredi ( @jillrose222 )