I lost my love for running
I've always been a runner...I loved running from elementary school, before I joined XC in 8th grade, after running track for years. Everyone knows that cross country runners are crazy. They push themselves to what they thought was the breaking point and find out it wasn't. They have practices before the sun rises and bus rides to meets just as early. It's a mental battle sunrise to sunset, warm up to cool down, calf roller to ice bath.
In my junior year I started to hit the breaking point. We were at the end of track season and my coach said something I will never forget, "what happened you used to be one of my top runners?" One athlete may be able to use this as motivation, I had always been the athlete that could. Now though, I was so mentally destroyed that this was my breaking point.
All summer I struggled with wanting to return to the team I had already spent three years with. When you begin to lose your love for this sport it is very hard to gain it back. After a whole summer of not wanting to return I decided to stick it out. I had been mentally strong enough for three successful seasons, why couldn't I do a fourth?
I missed all of summer training; a crucial component to anyone's season. I would be behind in the first few meets, I could live with that. The first few weeks of training after time off is always hard. Yet training is always harder when you have lost respect for your coach and your love of this crazy sport.
My coach began to notice how much I am mentally struggling through this season. I was told "I never want anyone to quit, I want you to stay, but I understand if you can't stay, take care of yourself, I won't ever be mad." Finally a reconnection between me and my coach. Listening to him though, I knew I would regret that decision to quit every day.
No matter how much I struggle to get through this season I will never stop. Deep inside me there will always be a love for running; and us crazy runners, we never stop. I'm learning senior seasons don't have to be the peak of your running career. I'll continue to work hard throughout this season. Most of my love for XC is gone; some of it is slowly coming back. For now I am just a runner on an XC team, and runners never quit.
- Anonymous
